"What's shakin', Norm?"

"All four cheeks and a couple of chins."

"What's new, Normie?"

"Terrorists, Sam. They've taken over my stomach and they're demanding beer."

"What would you like, Normie?"

"A reason to live. Give me another beer."

"What'll you have, Normie?"

"Well, I'm in a gambling mood. I'll take a glass of whatever comes out of the tap."

"Looks like beer, Norm."

"Call me 'Mister Lucky.'"

"Hey, Norm, how's the world been treating you?"

"Like a baby treats a diaper."

"What's the story, Mr. Peterson?"

"The Bobsey Twins go to the brewery. Let's cut to the happy ending."

"Hey, Mr. Peterson, there's a cold one waiting for you."

"I know. If she calls, I'm not here."

"What's going on, Mr. Peterson?"

"A flashing sign in my gut that says, 'Insert beer here.'"

"Whatcha up to, Norm?"

"My ideal weight if I were 11 feet tall."

"How's it going, Mr. Peterson?"

"Poor."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"No, I mean pour."

"How's life treating you, Norm?"

"Like it caught me sleeping with its wife."

"Women. Can't live with 'em, pass the beer nuts."

"What's going down, Normie?"

"My butt cheeks on that bar stool."

"Pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?"

"Alright, but stop me at one ... make that one-thirty."

"How's it going, Mr. Peterson?"

"It's a dog-eat-dog world, Woody, and I'm wearing Milk Bone underwear.

"What's the story, Norm?"

"Boy meets beer. Boy drinks beer. Boy meets another beer."

"Can I pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?"

"A little early, isn't it, Woody?"

"For a beer?"

"No, for stupid questions."